Why has our simple adult curiosity toward our fellow human gone into hiding? And why the apparent pop-culture prevalence of cool and flat vacancy, suspicious remoteness, and competitive animosity toward public "strangers"? In its opposite extreme to innocent curiosity, our stifled interest in each-other has become an exploitative and hungry “spectator sport” which objectifies the other at safe arms-length, devoid of innocent warmth, open acceptance and heart-full inquiry. When we draw mistrustful lines in the sand between us, placing unreasonably high values upon how we materialize in the physical world, (like yet another product to be marketed to our capitalist senses) we create hurtful separations and cultivate unnecessary alienation. We assert self-important individualism and keep to ourselves like a personality in quarantine.
Sure, we all want to feel our “specialness” in the public eye. But the aesthetic presentation of ourselves is often initially valued above our noble character traits. We carefully select the very colours, textures and styles which help define our fashionable sense of worth. We want to define the first impressions we leave in the eyes of others. This in and of itself can be a healthy and authentic form of self-expression when motivated by a desire to find true connection in our social spheres. However, being a fashion "untouchable" can set us apart from others and one's style can become a class-oriented measure of privilege and materialism, like in the need to display expensive labels on our clothing. This creates lonely divisions and shallow hierarchies between us.
Whether the motivation be to conform or compel, we often feel it necessary to define something of our physical specialness to others, to seek the approval, the magnetism of desire, and the various social responses we feel we need to be complete. Our self-images are often so wrapped up in our need to be superficially validated in a defined way, to be seen and socially regarded that we externalize this process, over-emphasizing the “aesthetic” or “expressed” display of our inner journeys. In our attempt to prove to others what our aesthetic power and worth is, we often neglect to "be" the totality of our worth in an integrated, wholistic and grounded way.
We can be too caught up with trying to assert our own specialness. We inadvertently repel others with the psychological separation it creates, unwittingly arousing another’s antagonism. It can be a delicately fine-line between true authenticity and varying degrees of self-absorption. We can become so dazzled by this "specialness" about ourselves or another that we forget how our uniqueness is what we all have in common, how our relationships can bridge this connection to our shared diversity. Authenticity is not a "special" club for VIP members only. It is our birth right.
When we measure ourselves against others based on polarities and dichotomies: good/ bad…..out-going/ shy……attractive/ ugly…….unhealthy/ fit….and so on, we create an "otherness" which compromises our sense of UNITY. Over-exalting or over-representing ourselves or others can create specific recipes (even antiquated ones passed down from generation to generation) for this “specialness”. We then further alienate the true value of those who do not have these very same ingredients we have so deemed important for success, spiritual insight, or acceptance within a particular group structure.
When we over-personalize, instead of universalize what we value, we neglect the collective diversity present in our communities. We then form hyper-inclusive cliques and networks which are bound to have limitations if established out of zealous pride and ego-centered choices and definitions. Homogenizing our rich diversity, we close doors best left open. If we truly wish our human systems to represent and include the interests of the greatest number of us, we must celebrate our DIVERSITY. When we rigidly conform and then forget to accept our authentic differences, we feel threatened by what shows up in the periphery of our delineated status quo. Stoically guarding our own self-interests, we reject the potentials that "difference" offers because it doesn’t fit our preconceived and long-held definitions.
When we accept the truth about our true selves, when we are humble, modest and mature about our skills, abilities and talents without need to establish rank, authority, and place of importance, when we are free of the need to prove our worth and personal power to others, we are much more creative and receptive. We can dwell in the middle place of unity where we all meet. Feeling whole within ourselves, we naturally see our similarities and our shared common interests as unique humans. Our relationships can emerge and meet within the heart of universal principles like compassion, respect, honesty and integrity, irregardless of the myriad ways we may manifest physically, mentally or emotionally. It becomes less important what we look like and increasingly more important how we ARE-together.
When our self-image is founded upon self-love, we radiate an open acceptance of another's ways. We feel no encroaching threat to our own identity. We understand how being true to ourselves, however differently or similarly that may manifest in another, is a universal truth we all share. When we love and accept ourselves, we awaken innocent curiosities and find we are asking more questions of those around us instead of making quick assumptions or bold value judgments based on criticism and misinterpretation.
Our curiosity has more room to discover the deliciousness of another because we are no longer so concerned about taking up all the space for our own ego gratification. Instead we can discover and celebrate what is real, authentic and true in another, free of pretenses and airs, enlivening, deepening and enriching our intimate TOGETHERNESS.
Sounds good, eh?
Begin it now.
